Thinking back...leaving the Netherlands


On Europe:


One of the things that just kills me is traveling internationally when you live in Europe. I'm an American, studying in the Netherlands and I have 1 passport stamp. 1. I’ve been to 8 countries in Europe and not one of them stamped my passport. That's just depressing. I grew up seeing luggage stickers and passport books full of colorful stamps from exotic destinations. Instead, I’ve got a utilitarian black stamp that says the date and Rekyavic, Iceland. Not exactly what I pictured for my European travels.

I didn't even get one from the Netherlands and I lived there for a year! I thought it would be neat to showcase my residence card, but they make you give it back when you leave. Heck, even the DMV will punch a hole in your driver's license if you want to keep it. It's a sad point that while we still have borders and immigration yet we have removed the iconic stamps that show those crossings in a document we can keep, look back on, and help us to reminisce. 

I had hoped that when I left the Schingen Region I would get a stamp, but neither Norway nor Sweden did so. Oh well, I’m pinning my hopes on you, Morocco.  Don't let me down!

On Leaving the Netherlands:

I just (as in a few hours ago) got back from a 10 day school trip to a Dutch Dairy Farm where we camped for our excursion in Zeeland. It was freezing and then hot, exhausting and yet energizing. I met some really great people and realized in 10 days I will probably never see them again. That is really hitting me hard today. Maybe it's the cold I managed to catch, but today I'm feeling especially nostalgic. I would like the chance to stay friends with some of them, but I am also a pragmatist...they will probably forget me after this course is over. 

How does one internalize that our relationships are disposable? I remember a lot of my college days (the BA years that is), but I also have forgotten so much. I can't expect any differently from these students. They have their whole life ahead of them, the joys and frustrations of family and home, of work out in the 'real' world, of struggling to find your passion and the euphoria when it is within your grasp. I am still on my own journey, but some days I feel like I'm merely an observer in their lives and that I have no real substance to them. I probably do that on purpose, keeping a distance by being the 'mom' in the group, but I'd like to be included on a more emotional level some day. 

I have the same problem talking to people in hostels. I feel like I'm intruding. I don't want to be a burden or annoy them, so I hold myself back. I know I look outgoing and talkative, but I have a horribly hard time breaking the ice with people. It keeps me from really reaching out and including new people in my social circle and I find I rely heavily on those who reach out to me, either for their knowledge, their friendship, or just their presence. It's not right and I am trying to stop the habit. I don't want to be that person who needs to be constantly validated by their 'friends'. I want to be confident in myself and happy when people are around, but completely at peace when they are not, and maybe more importantly, I want to be able to just be myself, without thinking how others will react to me, to get past that high school crap of wanting to fit in everywhere; of wanting people to like me. I hope there were times I managed to do that on this trip and that the number of those times becomes even greater as I experience more.

Like I said, I'm probably just being nostalgic and overly sentimental today. Feel free to ignore me and look through these pictures of lovely Zeeland instead.









On Planning:

I find that I’m not done with one trip before I start plotting the next one. It's June, I'm hours off a 10 day camping trip and I already have 3 trips planned before the end of the year. 
  • Going home (AMS-LIS-MIA-TIA).
  • Moving to Lyon, France.
  • 3 days in Lisbon, 2 days in Marrakesh, and 1 day in Casablanca. 

So, with all that, you'd think that would be it, but no, I'm trying to figure out two other trips: Italy and a Vienna/Bratislava trip. I'm also planning a day trip to Geneva, but that is just a Saturday 2hr train ride once I'm in France. Then there is Spain.  I’m 3hrs northeast of Spain once I'm in France, so there is no reason not to go to Barcelona for the weekend one week.

That's 7 more countries.  That will hopefully make me feel better.

Current country list:
  • USA 
  • Iceland 
  • Netherlands 
  • Belgium 
  • Germany 
  • Hungary 
  • Czech Republic 
  • France
  • Norway
  • Sweden

2018 potential country list:
  • Switzerland (1 day)
  • Spain (1 day)
  • Austria (1 day)
  • Slovakia (2 days)
  • Italy (7-10 dsys)
  • Portugal (3.5 days)*
  • Morocco (3.5 days)*

I’d like to get 24 countries before I graduate. I’m going to see where I can go for my thesis work as well as travel during the thesis.  *booked trips.

I don't want to just check box a country though. I try and do at least day trips so I can spend a few hours really exploring.  I know going to cities doesn't always give a good representation of a country, but that’s why I'm big into museums and cultural festivals as well as grocery shopping and normal daily activities. I think that gives me a good overview. At least, I hope so.

Bucket list countries:
  • Egypt
  • Mongolia 
  • Tibet
  • Antarctica 
  • Japan

I have dozens of countries I’d like to go to, but these are the ones I’ve really wanted to see.

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